Blog
Your turn… Take a minute to step outside yourself, then look inward…. Answer what you want… HERE
A Favorite Word…
LIGHT is shine. LIGHT is open. LIGHT is ease. LIGHT is unburdened.
The feelings conjured up by light are more profound and palpable than the mere construct of light as in a ray of sun or an incandescent bulb.
And yet, images of light reveal a visual display that has the power to open all my senses, invoke exhilarating energy, and summons my memory bank…
We have all had turmoil and struggle. We have known grief and loss, and joy and connection. We have known strength and have felt the fragility of life itself. And despite what we face, we still have the power to choose how to be in this moment. We have the choice to carry the heavy load of bricks, or to lay it down. We have the choice to trudge through the depths along the muddier road, or to walk the lighter path. We have the choice to see only clouds of darkness, or to set our vision on the light. We have the choice to be burdened by effortful strain, or to simplify and release. We have the choice to retreat in avoidance, or to lighten in love.
On Breath Training.
This is a discipline. It is not a hack. It is your biology. It is your neurochemistry. It is your precious, sophisticated, intricate system- designed to be leveraged to maximize body function, mental resilience, and emotional regulation; and to optimize health and performance.
This chronic bath of cortisol sends the message to your brain that you are “preparing for some attack”, so, be alert…
And your intelligent brain reads:
DON’T SLEEP- (are you having insomnia or trouble sleeping??)
HOLD ONTO WEIGHT- STORE WHAT YOU CONSUME, JUST IN CASE (are you having trouble managing stubborn weight??)
CONSERVE ENERGY FOR BATTLE (are you fatigued and low energy??)
Bottom line: just BEING in a state of chronic stress response is impacting your entire system.
Judgment.
We judge. We label. We recount. We project. We catastrophize. We personalize. We distort.
Our labels and judgments are often turned on ourselves, and often turned on the situation in which we land, either judging it to be “my own fault” or judging a person or situation that has “wronged me”…
We can get so caught up, that we don't realize we are using this judgment as an escape from reality; as a means of coping to not truly feel; avoiding our inner pain by harsh critique and sabotage; reinforcing our “failings”; relying on old models of how things "should" be…
But we are not stuck in judgment.
Endurance.
But, habitual and automatic patterns might also have our mindset framed as, "I will be better when I'm on the other side of this."
We accept this state of mind, and we often use it to help us cope- with an overbearing project at work, with a tough run, with a too-long visit from in-laws...
Perhaps we do this even in full chapters of life- a job that isn't well suited, a disagreeable teenager, a home in need of repair...
Reverse Engineering Our Brain.
I can text the words, "I love you" from 1000 miles away, and can change your heart rate, breathing rhythm, pupil dilation, and metabolism.
Or you could me text something ambiguous like, "is your door locked?" and affect my nervous system in a negative way.
The language centers in our brains, responsible for processing incoming data in the form of symbols (words), are integrated into the same regions that are critical in autonomic nervous system control (respiration, cardiac, endocrine, immune systems). Our intertwined neurons make language a direct influencer on our body's reactions.
The Paradox of Perfection.
Illusion of perfect... If I do things perfectly, then I am in total control.
If I do things perfectly, then I cannot get hurt.
If I do things perfectly, then I will not have the rug pulled out from under me.
If I strive for perfection, then I don't actually have to act on important things because I have the safety net of, "if it can't look perfect, then I'm not playing".
Dukkah.
Suffering is a joyful part of the story.
Because this is where we feel each other.
This is where we find our brave.
This is were the fire burns and where we can come to know freedom.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but FEAR WALKING. Some of the most inspiring humans have spoken of suffering, annihilation, and the connection, courage, and compassion that is born of these moments...I do not think you can aptly speak of these things, without having been through them yourself.
Life’s Many Professions.
MM was young. He was a social worker, and he became acutely and gravely ill with a neurological disorder, landing him on a vent, without warning. His story is not completely unique, because, like so many of the patients I treated during my 12 years in this hospital, he was lying in an uncomfortable, partially reclined bed, without the ability to communicate. And like every patient I met, he had a story; and being in that bed would shape the rest of his story for the rest of his life.
Team Sport.
…the pathway to healing also presumes the truth that we belong to each other.
Healing is not a personal endeavor. When there is suffering, and when we see this interconnection, we can meet another human in truth, even if it is scary.
We can be exposed in our fragility, and ask, will you still walk beside me....
The Simon & Garfunkel song, I am a Rock, could literally make me cry, in the first two notes….
Learning.
But the SURPRISE.
Ah, yes.
Then we learn.
Then we are catapulted into uncertainty and the learning that comes from navigating the uncharted territory; figuring out the path...
When things are going smoothly and we think life is unfolding as it "should", and then, wham... surprise... turns out...
Learning.
When things are in turmoil and some small decision lands you on an unexpected path to sweet bliss...
Learning.
When you thought what was, wasn't. Basically 2020...
Learning.
Octopus Teacher and Our Buried Stuff
What is it about the documentary, My Octopus Teacher, that has everyone so enthralled? The miraculous intelligence of this sea creature? The devotion of the diver? The unlikely bond between the two?
Going on Retreat.
What does this retreat look like, to our vibrating bundles of energy?
Stillness.
Stillness to acknowledge the pervasive, non-specific anxiety that plays like background music in a movie; which is actually subconsciously setting the tone of our emotions and becoming the lens by which we see life through. Allowing for a momentary pause in stillness can smooth out our mental chatter, just by noticing the inner dialogue that is determining the quality of our life.
My Backpack.
I have found, that as I write, I loosen my grip on the stuff that I carry. And as life unfolds and I am confronted with hard things, my backpack is filled only with things I choose. I realize that what I want to keep in my backpack is, in essence, Love.
The Force Is With Us.
No matter what comes together or is pulled apart, Love is here. In the greatest moments of success or the darkest hours of uncertainty, Love is here. In tragedy or triumph; harmony or frustration; inspiration or inconvenience, Love is here. Whether you feel alone or fiercely connected, Love is here. Despite any thoughts, regardless of any choice, and however you feel, Love is here. Through any pain or loss or joy, Love is here.
The Saturday After Thanksgiving.
I have learned that missing someone can be embraced. That the deeper the love, the deeper the loss. That there is no other side of grief. There is no pushing through; it is not something you finish.I have learned that grief is just Love with no place to go.I have learned that we are all just walking each other home. Hugging and holding. Choosing kindness and choosing light. Seeing joy and being love.
Brain Thoughts.
By nature, as protection, the brain latches onto its own internal model, which is actually largely flawed and operating from past stories, likely not updated from Windows 95 version. We are hijacked by our separated, primitive brain, and spiraled into unconscious programming as it starts running the show.
"Our perceptions condition our feelings; and most of our perceptions are wildly inaccurate." -Joseph Goldstein
Turns out, we can't think our way out of something, especially if we didn't think our way into it.
Reflection.
Maybe certainty should be a point of skepticism. Maybe a moment of not knowing can be the most beautiful moment, because really, we don't know anything, ever, at any time. Period. Maybe that is freeing.
The V-Word.
…not sure exactly what could be lurking below me….I felt completely exposed, uncertain, and maybe even threatened. My confidence in the water did not matter, once I got that visual of a Great White…
Epic habits to make your routine flow.