Going on Retreat.

healthwellnessyogameditationmindfulnesshealingSelf-Improvementbreathing

Dec 13

To pause is to say yes to the life that's right here. To be here for life. To listen. To see.

Habit Hack Episode 23. Weekend Edition.

What image do you get when thinking of a retreat? A yoga retreat? An adventure retreat? A couples retreat? A nature retreat? Maybe a scene on a tropical island with surfing and exotic melons and beach yoga.

Retreat. I am a sucker for a word's etymology, and here we have roots in Latin and Old French, "pull back" or "draw back". Retreat.

In our daily lives, we are going forward. There is little space for or acceptance of otherwise. Our lives are "supposed to be" a forward trajectory, with goals and progress and bigger is better, more is even better, and better is best...

Being busy is rewarded, and our minds are certainly busy with incessant inner dialogue of unresolved problems and fear-based scenario planning all day long. We don't sit still because the whirlpool of our unexamined thoughts and stories provoke anxiety, make us feel on edge, and keep us racing forward, avoiding any reflection or examination.

But now... (oh, the essence of 2020) ... But now, we are asked to PAUSE. We are being handed a time-out. In Rhode Island, gyms are closing, schools are shifting back to home, and we are being asked to hunker down with our households and be here. Retreat?

Where is "here" to the complexity of our humanness? We can be forced inside our physical homes, but do nothing to be on retreat for our minds. Because we are so accustomed to our ranting mind, that we don't often have insight that we are subtly being yanked around by the next train of thought that comes up, and then the next, and then the next; living out the emotional implications of these automatic thoughts.

This is really a human condition, and our primitive brain is often captured by a story of deficiency or things not being good enough. Our self-talk tries to fix this deficiency by arranging life perfectly... because if it were perfect...oh, then there would be good enough reason to rest in the present moment and be satisfied... But that is somewhat of a mirage- because we cannot arrange life perfectly.... so, instead of pausing in a moment, we make our way to the next and just keep skimming the surface. We resist the moment by reaching for happiness contingent upon fleeting desires- desires that are not durable.

What if we were on retreat right now, in recognizing a foundation upon which we can rest and be grounded? What if in pausing, we could see the mechanics of how to deliberately step off the hamster wheel; see that what we are doing with our attention in each moment actually shapes our well-being? What if we could reach some freedom in this space, by bringing awareness to the inner turbulence that gets between us and our direct experience of joy?

What does this retreat look like, to our vibrating bundles of energy?

Stillness.

Stillness to acknowledge the pervasive, non-specific anxiety that plays like background music in a movie; which is actually subconsciously setting the tone of our emotions and becoming the lens by which we see life through. Allowing for a momentary pause in stillness can smooth out our mental chatter, just by noticing the inner dialogue that is determining the quality of our life.

This is a vast perspective, if we allow for it; because it is truth. It is not woo-woo spirituality, or complicated rocket science, or even structured meditation.

"My main practice in life is, how do I avoid being overwhelmed by the stories my mind generates."
-Yuval Noah Harari, Author of Sapiens & 21 Lessons for the 21st Century

Stillness is noticing the fluctuations of our mind (not an easy, but a simple practice). Noticing that our emotions are being manipulated by our habitual thought patterns and default stories...

And when we have just a little space to become aware, we are no longer at the mercy of that background noise and not so overwhelmed by the emotions that feel so heavy.

With some space, we become lighter.

With retreat we can "draw back" from the incessant push to get more, do different, be perfect.

And as we get a better handle on our internal musings, maybe there is an existential question of, 'Who am I?'... and it is true that we cannot simply solve this question on retreat and in isolation... Because the 'Who am I?' is only known through interactions with others. We are hardwired as connected beings, and at our core, we long to belong, to be safe, to be seen; and the way we see ourself is influenced by the way others see us. There is a relational dynamic that allows our version of self to emerge, to survive, and maybe even to thrive.

So as we show up with our internal weather patterns, in all our imperfect and beautiful ways, we can take our inner retreat to set the conditions for compassion, gratitude, clarity, wisdom, connection, and love.

But, we must get there first.
Retreat.
"Draw back".
Know truth.
Be in it.
Inward and onward. And then outward. To connect. Together. We are not alone.

Love on,
Jessica