Endurance.
“Pain defines moments in the lives of all human beings. The trial is not the endurance of pain but the choices we make regarding how to endure.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich
Episode 34. SHIFT: 2 of 5 in Series: Escape through Endurance
Endurance- withstanding hardship; struggling through difficulty or diversity to make it to the other side.
What does endurance conjure up? ...demanding great physical or mental stamina...fitness prowess in a marathon or ironman...lasting longer than the masses...holding steadfast...being tough...fighting your way through...a period of struggle with completion or reward on the other side...
Endurance through difficulty may feel like a fact of life- especially at this moment in time- 11 months into an endurance challenge like no other...collectively bracing ourselves and facing unraveling on many levels, looking ahead to get through weeks that turned into months, a minor inconvenience that turned into a completely altered state of reality.
Endurance can be a means to an end; a way through; a driving force; a motivation.... and enduring can also be a way to escape moments of life.... hmmm, escape? What does this mean?
Enduring something is essentially saying,
"I'm not ok where I am."
Sometimes it's ok to not be ok where we are. It's ok to feel low in a valley and want desperately to be pulled out. It's ok to be in anguish and want it to pass. It's ok to recognize a bitter challenge and prefer to be on the other side.
But, habitual and automatic patterns might also have our mindset framed as, "I will be better when I'm on the other side of this."
We accept this state of mind, and we often use it to help us cope- with an overbearing project at work, with a tough run, with a too-long visit from in-laws...
Perhaps we do this even in full chapters of life- a job that isn't well suited, a disagreeable teenager, a home in need of repair...
Endure it...
Maybe even put stock in our happiness, "when__ happens"
I will be happy when I get promoted. I will be happy when I can buy the dream home. I will be happy when my kids are out of diapers. I will be happy when I lose 10 pounds. I will be happy when I sleep better... and on and on and on...
“Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson.” — Alan Cohen
Are we setting ourselves up for just getting through it, to get on to the next? Enduring what is, until we can get what we prefer?
Though this mindset of "getting to the other side of something" can be motivational and grant you persistence in a task, it is also sending the message to your brain and body, that you are not ok right here and now.
This may seem a subtle, meaningless message, but if this is the consistent message given to your system, guess what your brain can do in response? It can subconsciously work to get you out. How? Maybe by releasing certain stress hormones (chronic baths of cortisol), or creating some level of dis-ease to actually eliminate your ability to continue in your current state. This is the biological ramification for enduring. Instead of being content in the present, we are propelling forward into "getting out" or "getting to the next level", raising an alarm to our system that we are not ok.
What are the psychological and emotional implications for this non-presence? Missing out on NOW.
What if we embraced now, instead of skipping over to get what is next?
Happiness.
Joy.
Contentment.
Freedom.
Taglines- "Be Present to be joyous", "Presence for a no-stress life of bliss".
Sound too lofty or pie-in-the-sky??
No, I am not proposing that there is a light switch to power up happiness with less enduring, but there is certainly a reason for so much intense focus on the practice of mindfulness and presence.
One reason is to combat the ill-effects of the game of enduring it. And one way to do this is through gratitude. Gratitude for the present moment. Gratitude for walking through something, instead of gritting our teeth and suffering through it.
This does not apply to all of life's challenges. There are certainly moments and spaces that we want to make our way out and get to the other side. But even in these moments, I see strong and resilient people with daily gratitude and presence, despite extreme and vigorous life challenges.
Inspiring.
And possible.
You can just try it. It takes a small shift.
Take the endurance and shift to presence.
Take the "make it through" and and shift to "make it grateful".
Take the "I'll be happy when__" and shift to "I am happy now".
Just as an option. Just as a shift in approach... from enduring to being.
Just for a moment. Just for right now.
Love,
Jessica
“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”
-Amit Ray“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”
-Omar Khayyam“The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.”
-Robert Holden
SHIFT 5-Part Series: Escape through Illusion of Control.
Exploring our tendencies to escape life through an illusion of control....
We feel a sense of control through rushing, enduring, obsessing, judging, distracting...
When we are controlling our experience, we are not fully experiencing our life.
1. Escape through Rushing
2. Escape through Enduring
3. Escape through Obsessing
4. Escape through Judging
5. Escape through Distracting
Thank you for joining me through the journey. I am grateful.
Do it all with Love. Nothing is promised. But everything is workable.
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