Blog
Your turn… Take a minute to step outside yourself, then look inward…. Answer what you want… HERE
The Paradox of Perfection.
Illusion of perfect... If I do things perfectly, then I am in total control.
If I do things perfectly, then I cannot get hurt.
If I do things perfectly, then I will not have the rug pulled out from under me.
If I strive for perfection, then I don't actually have to act on important things because I have the safety net of, "if it can't look perfect, then I'm not playing".
Dukkah.
Suffering is a joyful part of the story.
Because this is where we feel each other.
This is where we find our brave.
This is were the fire burns and where we can come to know freedom.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but FEAR WALKING. Some of the most inspiring humans have spoken of suffering, annihilation, and the connection, courage, and compassion that is born of these moments...I do not think you can aptly speak of these things, without having been through them yourself.
Life’s Many Professions.
MM was young. He was a social worker, and he became acutely and gravely ill with a neurological disorder, landing him on a vent, without warning. His story is not completely unique, because, like so many of the patients I treated during my 12 years in this hospital, he was lying in an uncomfortable, partially reclined bed, without the ability to communicate. And like every patient I met, he had a story; and being in that bed would shape the rest of his story for the rest of his life.
Mom = Hero.
So, I’m just going to start with the surreal and shocking diagnosis that she received in September.
Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer.
My mom is stunning. She is healthy and strong, beautiful and vibrant, joyful and loving. A non-smoker who looks at least a decade younger than her age, she was on the golf course the day she found out that she had tumors throughout her body.
Team Sport.
…the pathway to healing also presumes the truth that we belong to each other.
Healing is not a personal endeavor. When there is suffering, and when we see this interconnection, we can meet another human in truth, even if it is scary.
We can be exposed in our fragility, and ask, will you still walk beside me....
The Simon & Garfunkel song, I am a Rock, could literally make me cry, in the first two notes….
Learning.
But the SURPRISE.
Ah, yes.
Then we learn.
Then we are catapulted into uncertainty and the learning that comes from navigating the uncharted territory; figuring out the path...
When things are going smoothly and we think life is unfolding as it "should", and then, wham... surprise... turns out...
Learning.
When things are in turmoil and some small decision lands you on an unexpected path to sweet bliss...
Learning.
When you thought what was, wasn't. Basically 2020...
Learning.
Octopus Teacher and Our Buried Stuff
What is it about the documentary, My Octopus Teacher, that has everyone so enthralled? The miraculous intelligence of this sea creature? The devotion of the diver? The unlikely bond between the two?
Going on Retreat.
What does this retreat look like, to our vibrating bundles of energy?
Stillness.
Stillness to acknowledge the pervasive, non-specific anxiety that plays like background music in a movie; which is actually subconsciously setting the tone of our emotions and becoming the lens by which we see life through. Allowing for a momentary pause in stillness can smooth out our mental chatter, just by noticing the inner dialogue that is determining the quality of our life.
My Backpack.
I have found, that as I write, I loosen my grip on the stuff that I carry. And as life unfolds and I am confronted with hard things, my backpack is filled only with things I choose. I realize that what I want to keep in my backpack is, in essence, Love.
The Force Is With Us.
No matter what comes together or is pulled apart, Love is here. In the greatest moments of success or the darkest hours of uncertainty, Love is here. In tragedy or triumph; harmony or frustration; inspiration or inconvenience, Love is here. Whether you feel alone or fiercely connected, Love is here. Despite any thoughts, regardless of any choice, and however you feel, Love is here. Through any pain or loss or joy, Love is here.
The Saturday After Thanksgiving.
I have learned that missing someone can be embraced. That the deeper the love, the deeper the loss. That there is no other side of grief. There is no pushing through; it is not something you finish.I have learned that grief is just Love with no place to go.I have learned that we are all just walking each other home. Hugging and holding. Choosing kindness and choosing light. Seeing joy and being love.
Brain Thoughts.
By nature, as protection, the brain latches onto its own internal model, which is actually largely flawed and operating from past stories, likely not updated from Windows 95 version. We are hijacked by our separated, primitive brain, and spiraled into unconscious programming as it starts running the show.
"Our perceptions condition our feelings; and most of our perceptions are wildly inaccurate." -Joseph Goldstein
Turns out, we can't think our way out of something, especially if we didn't think our way into it.
Reflection.
Maybe certainty should be a point of skepticism. Maybe a moment of not knowing can be the most beautiful moment, because really, we don't know anything, ever, at any time. Period. Maybe that is freeing.
The V-Word.
…not sure exactly what could be lurking below me….I felt completely exposed, uncertain, and maybe even threatened. My confidence in the water did not matter, once I got that visual of a Great White…
Infinite Versions.
In every experience, we can wake up to what's happening right now. The sensations, the perceptions, the images. This is the totality of our experience. The rest is our story. In contrast to the craving mind, that appeals for satisfaction through gratifying longing desires, can we ask ourselves if there are other versions of my mind's story. Are there other versions of my feelings and fears?
Change.
Where can we feel anchored and rooted, even when storms are raging all around us? How can we navigate this life-quake, this disruption, as we adapt, adjust, and course correct?
There is something predictable that we are doing right now. There is something that has been with us since birth, that we can actually feel empowered to control... our breath. It sounds simple; perhaps too simple..."yes, I'm breathing, what's the big deal..."
Unfolding.
Do it all with Love. Nothing is promised. But everything is workable.
More from Ram Dass....
Calm is a Superpower.
Superpower. Calm. How do we get from being stuck in our mind with endless chatter to a peaceful warrior superpower? How do we access the calm, which sets the conditions for compassion, gratitude, clarity, wisdom, connection, collaboration? First, we recognize the energy waste of spinning in rumination. Then we realize that creating space and calm, maybe with a breath, maybe with a meditation, maybe with a yoga practice; is an effective place to hang out.
On One Leg.
You are only as good on two legs as you are on one.
We have all developed strategies for movement patterns. Many of these are compensatory strategies to make up for some minor asymmetry in strength or range of motion. We become habituated to movement patterns, just as we are habituated to our repetitive thoughts. This is not specific to athletes, or people who train in a physical craft, but anyone who walks, gets up from a chair, empties a dishwasher, gets into a car...your movements are mostly automatic...and sometimes at a high cost to your function.
Epic habits to make your routine flow.