Paradoxes of Life.
“…and perhaps the most beautiful paradox of all is how a human soul is heartbreakingly fragile and unbreakably strong at the same time.”
Episode 44.
Paradoxes of Life:
I have recently pondered the word existential; an inquiry postulated about the meaning of life, the essence of the soul, the magnitude of reality and vision and fragility and synchronicity and freedom and presence and alignment and trust and love... whew... light stuff!
It started with contemplation of the paradox of impermanence.
The more we are accepting of the impermanent, fleeting nature of all things and all experiences, and the less we cling with attachment to these things, the more we can delight in them; in each moment.
The reality of impermanence highlights the human condition that everything changes, nothing is guaranteed, or truly predictable; nothing is solid, or promised to remain.
Dropping the tendency to grasp and control can actually make us feel safer and more secure in the ever-changing waves of life. This is a paradox because it is our human nature to grasp at what might leave; to cling to what we fear as loss...but as we are able to let go and let be, we find freedom, safety, comfort, and ease.
Life is real…in all its complexity. And though it can be painfully difficult, it also can be unspeakably wonderful. I have explored some paradoxes that highlight the seemingly contradictory swirlings of reality; a reality not necessarily bound to logic… Here you go...
The only certainty is uncertainty.
Even when we think we know…we don’t really know. We like to label things- we say something is good, or bad, or right, or wrong…but really, we just don’t know… What happens in a moment is certain, but then whatever happens in the next moment is impossible to predict. We can make assumptions and informed guesses, but really, we just don’t know.
The more honest you are about your faults, the more people will value you as seemingly perfect.
Being vulnerable is courageous and connecting. People are drawn to genuine and authentic. What compels people to regard you as strong and dependable? Honesty about your flaws and shortcomings, your quirks and questions; authentic comfort in your range of abilities within this full human experience, and vulnerability in putting yourself out there- naked and raw. Your value actually prevails in your imperfections.
The more afraid you are of death, the less you’ll be able to enjoy life.
Our ultimate, primal fear- on which all other fears are stacked- fear of death. The surrender to and acceptance of death is not morbid or depressing, but frees us to gratitude and acceptance of life in the present moment. Here, we can be fully IN life.
“Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
"Life is not a fight against Death" , Five Invitations: Frank Ostaseski
The harder you push for something, the harder it will feel to achieve.
The tighter we grip and grasp at an outcome, the more resistance and tension we build. When we face something with discontentment in the way it actually is, we unconsciously make it more difficult. When we rely on efforting to get us through, we miss out on an effortless state. Releasing and accepting allows things to flow with ease.
The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with each one.
The paradox of choice. Paralyzed with indecision. Frozen at a fork in the road. An abundance of choice actually leads to more anxiety, stress, and indecision. It might seem we would be happier if given an expanse of choices, but we actually make better decisions and end up more satisfied when given fewer options. The theory is that when we have an abundance of options, there is a greater “opportunity cost” to selecting each particular one; therefore, we’re less satisfied with our decision. Here, less really is more.
The more something frightens you, the more you should face it.
I’m not talking danger or daredevil stuff here…but awareness of your tendency to retract or back away… instead, feel the fear and do it anyway… this is courage. Bravery is born in the face of fear.
Talk less to say more.
Economy of speech. Use minimal words with maximal relevance. Speak your point by listening. fPlay in the pause- here, words will carry more weight. Live your truth- use words only when necessary.
Keep growing, and also be content in the NOW.
Where can we strike a balance in striving to learn and grow and shift, while being still and quiet and satisfied in this current moment? Where is the place of equanimity, the inner smoothness, the flow? I often use the phrase in my yoga classes, "the balance of exertion and surrender". Find this space. Open and allow. Know that you can keep running and executing in pursuit of an outcome, but the longest distance traveled, and the most significant effort, is the journey and the pursuit inward- a contentment with the here and now.
The more often you fail, the more chance you have to succeed in the end.
A successful investor was asked, “What’s the secret to your success?”… “Two words”, he said, “Right decisions”…“And how do you make right decisions?” … He replied, “One word, experience.” … ”And how do you get experience?”… “Two words, wrong decisions.”…
What successful person did not meet setbacks along their road? The power of failure is not just theoretical. There are dozens of truly famous successes born from pervasive failure…Edison tried over 10,000 prototypes before getting the lightbulb right. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team. Jim Carrey grew up extremely poor, worked as a janitor to help his family pay the bills, and during his first performance, he was booed off stage. Success comes from improvement and improvement comes from failure. If you never fail, you never get practice in what it takes to succeed. There’s no shortcut.
Where do we find ourselves in the balance, in the vortex of these swirling founts of reality and plays on truth? Where do we land, amidst the holding on and letting go? How do we reconcile loss and love?
It is all a journey.
We are all on this path.
We are all reaching out for a hand.
Maybe our own. Maybe another's.
We are just walking.
Or sitting. Or searching. Or finding. We are all embracing. Or withdrawing. Or opening. Or shielding. We are all appreciating. Or hoping. Or connecting. Or seeing. We are all struggling. Or grieving. Or smiling. Or falling. We are all healing. Or holding. Or sharing. Or loving.
We are all ok.
Love, Jessica
Do it all with Love. Nothing is promised. But everything is workable.
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