Impermanence.

healthwellnessyogameditationmindfulnesshealingSelf-Improvement

Jun 13

“When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment.”
– Pema Chödrön

Episode 50.

Impermanence- we might read this word as the sheer “opposite of permanent”, or disposable. But the word impermanence as a concept, is much grander, and is actually the crux of the Buddhist teachings. Now, let’s just touch on Buddhism, not as a religion, but a way of life. Not as someone or something to be worshipped, but an established tradition of teachings, focusing on training the mind and escaping cycles that keep us trapped in suffering.

Buddhism as a way of life can be viewed as “a path of practice and spiritual development, which brings insight into the true nature of reality.” Buddhist practices like meditation and mindfulness are means of expanding your inner being to develop true qualities of awareness, kindness, mindfulness, and wisdom. (Don’t check-out with the word meditation- I promise, I was a skeptic and pushed back against this concept and practice for a decade…and I am here to say, it may have actually saved my life…)

Buddhist tradition, developed over thousands of years, has created many “lists”, not as scripted strict religious rules to abide, but resources for self-growth. These lists can be taken as “tips and ways” to follow a path, whether it is straight or winding, and could ultimately culminate in Enlightenment. If Enlightenment sounds inflated and hyperbolized, I would like to clarify my definition of enlightenment as, “lightening up”!

So, back to one of the most fundamental teachings of Buddhism - impermanence. As in, everything changes. It is a concept that nothing remains forever and all will pass. Of course, we know this, cognitively and conceptually, but do we really feel it at our core? We do not want to deny that the reality of life also holds death... yet we do not want to dwell in this unpleasant reality that everything of this life will be lost…

The Buddha taught that the source of human suffering and discontent is that we crave and cling to the things of this world under the mistaken view that they will not change. But nothing is spared from change...and ultimately, we suffer when we resist change.

So, is impermanence something to welcome?

Do we appreciate life more when we reflect on the fact that life will not last forever; that we will not get this day to do again?

Do we approach each day with more gratitude when we become intimate with the fact that our days are actually numbered?

Do we cherish the moment when we become keenly aware that each moment is fleeting?

Do we then not take little things for granted?

The Buddha had a teaching (one of his many lists), called the 5 Remembrances. They have been translated by Thich Nhat Hahn as:

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

These 5 Remembrances expose an ultimate dimension; an existential reality that is implicit in our being alive, and yet, we simultaneously hold a desire, a longing, and a primitive drive to hold on to what is dear to us, to keep and sustain, and remain… this, our expression of our human nature. Both are very true. We can accept the remembrances alongside offerings of a hope for connection and lasting love for ourselves and others.

Here, I will add a loving-kindness statement of hope to each reality of impermanence…

I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old…and yet, may I live fully.
I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health…and yet, may I be healthy and well.
I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death…and yet, may I be safe and whole.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them…and yet, may I love deeply and with ferocity.
My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand…and may I be wholesome and genuine in my actions.

We are humans acting as a container to hold the fragile elements of loss alongside the robust nature of survival.

We are strong and resilient in our coping and bearing the weight of grief, while maintaining the reality that death is the human condition.

We make vows of forever and we hold expectations of security and safety of unchanging stability, while acknowledging that the grasp on immortality leads to suffering and change is unavoidable.

The second set of 5 Remembrances allows us to honor the fact that we cannot remove ourselves from the reality of impermanence and unpredictability of life. We cannot lay claim to possess, we cannot control outcomes, or guarantee promise.

We can embrace change as our constant companion.
We can hold on.
We can hold each other.
We can practice being ok with our experience.
We can love through it all.

Through it all...
Love, Jessica

“If you’re invested in security and certainty, you are on the wrong planet.” – Pema Chödrön

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” – Pema Chödrön

“That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence.” – Pema Chödrön

“In practicing meditation, we’re not trying to live up to some kind of ideal — quite the opposite. We’re just being with our experience, whatever it is.” – Pema Chödrön